TAKING A BREAK FROM SOCIAL MEDIA..

DEPRESSION/ANXIETY DISORDER

I kinda need a break from everything. My last couple of days have been horrible and I had trouble sleeping at night too. I don't really want to talk about what caused it. I have been trying to solve an issue but it ended up giving me a heartache. So this morning when I reached the breaking point, I decided to seek help. I knew if I didn't do it, I would probably end up hurting myself or losing my sanity once and for all. I looked up on the internet to find out what kind of doctor is best for treating my depression situation and it turned out I should consider seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist. The reason why I decided to see a doctor is because I needed someone to understand what I was going through and help me get back in the track. I don't have many friends, because I was never good at maintaining a good relationship with anyone. I always preferred being rather alone and I was always pushing people away even when they wanted to be friends with me. So, In order for me to be in my senses, I needed a professional who could understand me and help me get medications if required. I looked up and searched for a doctor and then it occurred to me that I could use the doctor's app for the same. I put up my problem and the app suggested me a psychologist. The doctor was a lady and I paid online for consultation and when I stated my problem, she called me and we spoke on the phone for about an hour. I didn't really want to tell her what triggered my depression situation but I sort of gave her a gist of what's going on and how I feel physically and emotionally. She wasn't really helpful and every question she asked made me feel all the more worse - the "why did you?" questions. C'mon She is supposed to provide a solution, not backfire at me asking questions like a parent. The conversation went on for an hour and she sort of suggested that I see a doctor locally and seek help. I asked her what was wrong with me and all she said was that I maybe suffering from anxiety attack (OCD) and depression and suggested I consult a psychiatrist in person and take up medications following which I will be required to sign up for a therapy. After talking to her I was really unsure if I should see a psychiatrist and sign up for a therapy. The reason being these people are a complete waste of money. They don't really do much or help us feel better, atleast thats what I felt from my experience talking to one. Anyway as she suggested, I decided to book an appointment with a psychiatrist. I am very skeptical about this because this consultation and therapy would cost me a bomb. I have been unemployed for months now which means I can't even afford a candy. I am soooo OVER !

After weighing my options, I realized that the cost involved would literally rip my undies and I am not even sure if I will get benefited from the sessions. So I am still thinking if I should go about with it or not.

Keeping all that aside, I decided to take a break from the social media and spend time figuring out what I am good at. I don't think writing is my thing, infact I feel I am a shitty writer. To be honest, I don't really know if I am good at anything. -_- I think what I am lacking now is encouragement, motivation and self confidence. I will find a way to get through this. For now, I want to stay as far away from people as possible which might aggravate my condition but its fine. And about going to a psychiatrist- I am still thinking... $$$$$$

*******************************************************

Update: I happened to talk to a really good doctor and I have been advised to take anti depressant drug for 2 weeks. He has asked me to keep myself engaged or find a hobby to keep my mind distracted. I started taking them and I have never felt better than I do right now. 💓

Comments

WHY I LOVE KDRAMAS!!

MY LOVE FOR K DRAMA... I started watching a new drama series called "My secret romance" and I was thinking, why not write a post on why I love K-dramas so much? and maybe even list down my top favorites? Writing blog posts is a way of helping me remember and record events as my memory is fleeting.

I can give you a million reasons why I love Korean dramas. Sometimes it helps me escape from the harsh realities of life. K-drama is a thing now. Why?? Because it has f****** intense emotions and values unlike american movies and television. A lot of people when they are stressed or having a terrible day would resort to consuming alcohol or doing drugs. I on the other hand would resort to watching Korean dramas.This might sound weird to many of you, but I know for a fact that the people who watch K-dramas would agree with me. They are addictive! Once we start we won't be able to stop. My parents should be proud of me that I don't do things that normal people do. Lol
My love …

MY BUCKET LIST

WHEN YOU WISH UPON ALIST.. So, Its been a while....I would be lying if I said I was busy. I have been at home doing my own things. My past few weeks have been really stressful for no reason. I don't have motivation to do anything lately. I have been unemployed for 4 months now. I resigned my job to plan my wedding and now I feel miserable about it and to add fuel to the fire, I managed to get my heelbone fractured 3 months ago and I'm still struggling to walk steadily (Don't ask me how). So, yeah I have been really bored lately that I decided to make a list of things I want to do before I die.

My life was a lot miserable during my teenage years and I still feel disappointed with a lot of things happening in my life. I want to be happy and make people I love feel happier with me around. Happiness means differently between people- It could be about adventure or about solitude. It could be about having an extravagant life or a life of “just enough.” To me, happiness means a l…

A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE...

A HEARTWARMING EXPERIENCE AT ECHOES... One morning I was talking to my bestie and I felt like meeting up with her . We hadn't seen each other for more than 3 months. I was in bed for a while due to an accident that fractured my heel bone. After solid 3 months of rest and sulkiness, I decided to get some air. I called up my friend and asked her to meet me at a mall. Since I couldn't risk to ride my scooter, I took a cab and waited at the mall for a few minutes before she showed up. She was as always looking like a doll. I always admired her because she is a beautiful person inside out. We had our usual girl talks for a bit and 15 minutes into the conversation, she said she was hungry and wanted to grab a lunch. We looked up some of the pubs and restaurants in that area with good reviews. Bangalore has tons of beautiful eateries which go beyond just offering you a satisfying meal. We have been to quiet a few theme based restaurants before. We wanted to explore yet another one thi…

ZERO MOTIVATION....

TRAUMA OF UNEMPLOYMENT Okay , So today I am going to go visit a couple of institutes that offers training on SAP Fico module. I want to get trained on SAP as it adds some essential skill on my CV. Finding a genuine institute can be tricky because believe it or not there are so many fake ones in and around the city just to fleece money. I am really stressed out lately. Its been 5 months now. Well, to be honest I'am not really trying hard enough. I am confused about so many things. I have way too many things in my head which I can't really tell anyone yet. I could try going back to my previous company but there is a reason why I am not trying there. Again, I am not ready to spill the reason as to why- atleast for now. These unemployment days have left my brain to rot and I can't think or do anything that essentially should help me get hold of an interview. I mean I am planning too much, but I am not putting them into action. I want to continue my studies but I am not taking …

WHAT DID I STUDY ? WHAT IS MY CAREER ?? AMBITION??

WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE??
As a child, I dreamed of becoming a Doctor some day. Growing up I had multiple career aspirations. A Rockstar. An Astronaut. A Fashion designer and the list goes on. During middle school, I figured maybe I wasn't fit to become a doctor or an astronaut. My chemistry and physics grades were not up to the mark. As I was doing my high school, I met this teacher. She had a profound impact on my life. She always told me that I had the skill set and abilities to become a civil servant or a chartered accountant in my home country(India). Back then, I was a shy girl who had no idea what I was doing with my life. With the help of my teacher I realized maybe I wasn't as dumb as I thought I would be. Well, I always sell myself short. I am fully aware that its not something to brag about. It did have a negative impact on me which i will cover on a later post.So, this feeling that I am good for nothing made me think of myself as the dumbest person alive on th…

MESSED UP TEENAGE YEARS..

LIFE AS A TEEN .... So this is just a picture I picked out from google. I have no experience as a blogger.This is my first time starting a blog so it may not be as attractive and appealing to many of you. It's still a "work in progress". I am still learning and figuring out things here.Let me know if you guys have any suggestions. Okay, So I was wondering where to start the story of my life. By the way, I would not be writing every minute details of my life. There are certain things that happens in your life that changes your perspective about life and the people around you and that's what I want to specifically talk about. I wont say I had the most amazing life as a teenager. When I was 16, my life took a nasty turn. I think we all go through that terrible phase were things seem pretty messed up and we conclude "This is it! This is the End of me" !!! Trust me, I know that feel.

We are all very vulnerable in teenage years. I was watching this Netflix series…

Quarter Life Crisis 🙎

Search This Blog