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GETTING MORE PERSONAL..

WHY BLOGGING ?

I don't really know why I have a blog now. I used to be really focused on becoming a professional blogger at one point of time but gradually my interest faded or more like I haven't really had the motivation to even write a post. I have been going through so much lately where I was questioning every single minute of my existence. I know for a fact that all I write about is how messed up my life is or about starting over or about dreams and ambitions that I never really want to take initiative and start working on. This is me. I talk so much about everything but I never really take a step forward to achieving or changing them. If one thing in my life goes wrong, I conclude that my life is over. I am definitely not a good inspiration. I am a weird person and my thoughts are absolutely suicidal. Maybe if i could just think about all the positivity around me, who knows things will get better?  

I started this blog as a very personal platform where I can write my thoughts and things that I am going through. It was supposed to be more like a journal where I can talk to myself and maybe work on changing myself as a person. Although that was really my intention, I never really used this platform personally. I think its time that I used it the right way as a journal or whatever. I may not write everyday but I would definitely continue to write whatever crap I am going through whether its good or bad- I am just going to continue writing. So earlier I sort of wrote about my canadian study plan. I was waiting for my visa and I was supposed to leave this month but for whatever reason, I am still here at home idling away time. I don't really know why none of my plans really workout the way I want them to. I was hoping to leave this country and hopefully start fresh in Canada but it turns out I won't be able to attend the college as my visa is delayed and the classes have already started. I was a nervous wreck this past week because this whole canada plan involved a lot of money and travelling. Even though I said I had a plan B if canada didn't work out, In reality I didn't really have a Plan B. I don't really know what to do now. I am such a disappointment. I will write about everything that happened in my life in the past couple of years shortly which has a lot to do with what i am going through right now. Basically everything that's happening now is tied to some of my bad choices and decisions in the past. 

PS. Even though everything is so messed up right now, I still am hoping that things will get better. 


Much Love,
ATHI UNNI 💓









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