TURNING A NEW LEAF..
I am officially starting fresh in life... All these days, I have been conflicting over some ideas that would probably turn the course of my life to a completely disastrous direction. I committed a really horrendous mistake 6 months ago and I am still trying to cope with it. Its funny how one big mistake can affect you and your family in a way that you never imagined. I spend months figuring out a way to be happy and deal with the situation in a smart way. But unfortunately, that one mistake managed to suck the soul out of my body and often times I feel dead, like my life has come to an end. I resorted to writing blog posts to keep my spirit up and feel inspired and work for what I dreamed in my whole entire life. You know, it sucks- no matter how hard you try to get over that guilt you feel from the mistake you committed, you fail !!
Sometimes, no matter how many times our loved ones try to convince us to not do something because they see something bad coming our way, we just turn a deaf ear and do what we want to do. It's a part of growing up. We make mistakes and we learn from it, which in turn helps us to be a better person. I didn't listen to my parents or friends when they said "Don't do it- You will regret this sometime in your future ". I didn't listen to any one, and at that point of time, all I wanted was to follow my heart. Often times, we hear people quoting a line in movies "Always follow your heart". Trust me its utter bullshit. Never ever listen to you heart because they are pathologically selfish. No one lies to us more than our hearts and that is the truth. When we think with our heart, we appear selfish and ignore others for our own selfish indulgence and needs. I know from my experience that this heart of ours is not a leadership material. Learn to think with your brain. The heart is supposed to be led by us, failing to do so we end up leading a miserable life. This is from my soul experience.
When I look back, I wish I listened to the people who tried to stop me. I made a mistake which probably is going to haunt me throughout my life. Now, all I can do is to try to get rid of the regrets that I have in place and work harder for a better tomorrow. I have come to terms with my situation now and I realized that there is no point mourning over it. It is just going to add fuel to the fire. When life throws you a curve ball, learn to swerve them! That's what I decided to do. Choose to use the crisis pain to move forward stronger and wiser. My mistake affected my family as well and they are in pain worried about my future. I want to roll up my sleeves and get down to the business and do whatever I can to move things forward and get where I want to be and make my family feel proud of me.
The things that I learned from my past mistakes :
- Always think twice before making major decisions.
- Never ever leave the matter to your heart.
- Take advices from your family and friends before making up your mind because they would never suggest anything to ruin you. At the end of the day, its for your own good.
Thanks to this blog and a few other people who genuinely still care for me! I have been suffering crazy for the past few months but this blog and those people helped me keep my sanity. Now I am going to start fresh and do the things that are right. I believe that starting all over again is not that bad, because when you restart, you get another chance to make things right.
"Our hearts will not save us. We need to be saved from our hearts.” -unknown